Soccer Coach

During Saturday’s game, I discovered a little boy from another field trying to play with our team.  His shirt was the same as ours and he had no idea he was on the wrong field.  My team never noticed he was not on our team.

I started list all the reasons why everyone needs to to coach a 5 year old/kindergarten soccer team.

  • IMG_8443_shareGames are stopped by the referee to tie someone’s shoe.
  • Players leave the field during the game to run and hug their parents.
  • Players chose to do cartwheels instead of chasing the ball.
  • If the ball gets kicked out of bounds and ends up in the field next to your game, the whole game will change fields and attempt a goal while another game is playing simultaneously on that field.IMG_8442_share
  • Instead of spreading out and passing as they learn in practice, the children all gather around the ball and play “bumble bee ball.”
  • When two players are told to scoot back some, they both scoot to the opposite side of the field, competing who can go further.
  • When a player kicks a ball, they are as likely to jump up and down excitedly that they kicked the ball, as they are to try to get it to the goal.IMG_8430_share
  • The players will ask at least 10 times during the game, “Is it okay to steal the ball?”  After being told to only steal from the other team, they proceed to steal from their team members.
  • Soccer is a full contact sport.  Full body contact with the ground is required at least once during each game.
  • Tantrums ensue when someone drinks “my” drink.  Of course, players must run and get sympathy from parents.
  • Players think the goal is to play keep away from everyone else.
  • Sharing the ball with team members is taboo because “it is fun to make a goal”.IMG_8428_share
  • If all else fails, a player must fall to the ground and use his legs to trap the ball, because the goal is not to share.
  • Players must tell coach each time someone steps on their toes or kicks their shin guards.
  • Seated bench warmers are not allowed.  Players sit on the ground, no matter how cold or wet it is.
  • IMG_7277In the course of a stumble, players must exaggerate the fall to the ground to demonstrate the sacrifice the player makes for the team and gain sympathy from parents.
  • When players get bored, they beg for a chance to sit on the bench and be cheerleaders.
  • Smiles or funny faces while kicking the ball is mandatory.
  • Before making a goal, a player must dribble the ball to the goal,  stop completely, do a little jig of excitement as they aim, then watch as the ball is stolen.
  • When games are over, players ask if there are extra snacks to share with their mommas.

There are many more reasons to be coach.  These are just some examples that happened during this Saturday’s game.  Unfortunately, we did not video tape this game as proof.

3 thoughts on “Soccer Coach”

  1. Like it a lot Mommy!
    The little girl in the Pink Ribbons looks Familiar

  2. That little girl with the pony tails and pick ribbons looks like she is a good player and tries hard. She sure is cute. If you catch her as she runs past with the ball, hug her and give her a big sloppy, noisy kiss from her Oma and Opa!!

Comments are closed.